It’s been awhile. Things have changed.

I cut all my hair off yesterday, buzz now.

I’m turning 22 in two weeks and I want to feel more mature, more my age.

I’m getting bigger and stronger but as of tonight the gyms will be closed again due to covid. I need to be able to workout at home.

I’ve been reading more stoicism and I’ve changed my journaling method, I will now write in philosophical dialogue.

Weather is getting better which has improved my overall mood.

Sometimes I just want to run away; right now is that moment.

I’m disappointed in my self, I feel trapped and unable to move.

I know what to do but it’s hard putting it into action.

I’m all alone.

My family loves and supports but I still feel as if I’m in this alone.

I have this pressure. I’ve fallen a little off track too. I didn’t release a song last month and I’m currently back on a carb diet. I’m hungry a lot, mainly due to me hitting the gym regularly but also because I smoke a lot.

Weed is the devil to me but I keep going back to it. Why? Well it calms me down, let’s me be present and listen. It lets me follow my principles easier and understand people better.

Downside is, I want to eat constantly, I get slow, tired and unmotivated.

What’s next for me? I want need to get us out of here ASAP. Dad works daily and strongly dislikes his job. Mom is sad too I know it, she just doesn’t show it. Sister is not feeling her greatest either. It’s all up to me now.

One day I’ll be someone.

Someone like Jordan Peterson. Someone like Eminem. Someone like Marcus Aurelius.

For tonight I’ll just be me, grateful, and call it a night.